Dealing with 'Management by Intimidation'

We often consider them bullies.  They instill fear in our colleagues and our leaders.  Our natural instinct is to avoid them.  But that may not be the best way to deal with them.

If you like to use "Management by Intimidation" as a tactic or have someone working for you who does, I think you need to eliminate this behavior.  It is detrimental to your whole organization.  I point you to  Robert Sutton's book, The No A**hole Rule to deal with this.  Unfortunately, many times you're not in a position to change these people.  You just have to deal with them.

When I was in a previous position, I encountered the biggest bully I've worked around.  He worked in the Belgium office.  He would rant and rave, belittling the work of everyone in our office.  All the U.S. managers were afraid of him, going out of their way to avoid confrontation with him.  I thought he was the definition of an a**hole.  I later had the chance to collaborate with some engineers who worked for him.  They loved him.  I decided I needed to watch more closely.  That's when I realized that the bullying was a technique more than just his personality.  He was quick to criticize anyone who didn't work for him while defending his own, justified or not.  I originally thought he hated Americans.  But, as I continued to observe, I realized he just didn't respect them, presumably because they wouldn't stand up to him.  Lastly, he was very intelligent in finding the problems and faults to exploit with intimidation, putting others on the defensive since, to some degree, he was right.

So, given the bullying is a purposeful tactic for doing business, how can we effectively deal with this to achieve successful outcomes?

1. Temper your emotions.  Intimidation is intended to cause fear, anger, and shame.  Keep that in mind and don't fall into the trap.

2. Listen.  Understand the bully's point.  Rationality and logic can prevail, but only if you can show the bully you understand the logic beneath the attack.

3.  Stand up for yourself and others.  The only way to render the attack ineffective is to thoughtfully engage.  Remember, the bully has no respect for those that shy away.  This will be inherently uncomfortable for you.  Don't expect a whole lot of help from colleagues, as they will tend to want to avoid conflict.

4.  Move forward with the end in mind.  Once you've made your stand, then you can look toward common goals and "win - win" -- maybe. 

This is not a fun game.  But sometimes you have to play.  Be brave and stick to your principles!