Achieving Your Objectives in 3, 2, 1

 I spend a lot of time reading articles by 'thought leaders.'  It is even more cool when a friend and colleague publishes an article of that caliber.  Please check out Noam Oz's article using techniques he learned in Ju Jitsu in one's career and projects.

Achieving Your Objectives in 3, 2, 1

Time of Opportunity

"THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman."  Thomas Payne

In these times of social distancing and impending impacts of the time, society is bound to change.  We can move one of two ways:  we can become fearful and selfish or we can rise to a higher level of responsibility.  We need to help people.  The traditional means of service come through groups gathered together in mutual support.  That won't work this time.  This time we need to innovate and create novel ways of moving our society forward.  I don't know what those means are, but we need to find them.

I've spent most of my career supporting the Department of Defense.  We always said the bureaucracy would be put away if we ever got into a real war.  Well, it wasn't a war.  It's a virus.  I have envied the 'Great Generation' for having a purpose and chance to make an impact.  Now we have that opportunity.  Let's not waste it.

2020 Reading List

Starting in the Fall of 2019, I began one of my periods of intense reading.  Most of the books are business or self-improvement books.  As we start 2020, I want to keep track of what I read and what I want to read.  I would like to do reviews of those books also.  I've made promises like that before on the blog and not stuck to them.  Oh well!

I plan to update this list as the year progresses.

Happy New Year!

Books Read in 2020

• Death by Meeting by Patrick Lencioni
• The Four Hour Body by Tim Ferriss
• The One Minute Workout by Martin Gibala
• Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell
• The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Leo Tolstoy
• The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek (in progress)

Books To Read

• Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention by Nir Eyal

Dealing with 'Management by Intimidation'

We often consider them bullies.  They instill fear in our colleagues and our leaders.  Our natural instinct is to avoid them.  But that may not be the best way to deal with them.

If you like to use "Management by Intimidation" as a tactic or have someone working for you who does, I think you need to eliminate this behavior.  It is detrimental to your whole organization.  I point you to  Robert Sutton's book, The No A**hole Rule to deal with this.  Unfortunately, many times you're not in a position to change these people.  You just have to deal with them.

When I was in a previous position, I encountered the biggest bully I've worked around.  He worked in the Belgium office.  He would rant and rave, belittling the work of everyone in our office.  All the U.S. managers were afraid of him, going out of their way to avoid confrontation with him.  I thought he was the definition of an a**hole.  I later had the chance to collaborate with some engineers who worked for him.  They loved him.  I decided I needed to watch more closely.  That's when I realized that the bullying was a technique more than just his personality.  He was quick to criticize anyone who didn't work for him while defending his own, justified or not.  I originally thought he hated Americans.  But, as I continued to observe, I realized he just didn't respect them, presumably because they wouldn't stand up to him.  Lastly, he was very intelligent in finding the problems and faults to exploit with intimidation, putting others on the defensive since, to some degree, he was right.

So, given the bullying is a purposeful tactic for doing business, how can we effectively deal with this to achieve successful outcomes?

1. Temper your emotions.  Intimidation is intended to cause fear, anger, and shame.  Keep that in mind and don't fall into the trap.

2. Listen.  Understand the bully's point.  Rationality and logic can prevail, but only if you can show the bully you understand the logic beneath the attack.

3.  Stand up for yourself and others.  The only way to render the attack ineffective is to thoughtfully engage.  Remember, the bully has no respect for those that shy away.  This will be inherently uncomfortable for you.  Don't expect a whole lot of help from colleagues, as they will tend to want to avoid conflict.

4.  Move forward with the end in mind.  Once you've made your stand, then you can look toward common goals and "win - win" -- maybe. 

This is not a fun game.  But sometimes you have to play.  Be brave and stick to your principles!

You're Either Part of the Solution or Part of the Problem

"You're either part of the solution or part of the problem."

That saying is one of my favorites.  First, I would ask you be careful using this saying.  It can easily be taken as a criticism on insult, depending on when you use it.  In fact, I rarely will say this to anyone.

The value in this saying is to keep it to one's self and use it as an evaluation criteria for whatever you are doing.  As human beings, we often partake in destructive behavior.  I must admit that I have picked a fight with my wife for no good reason.  More often I've complained out of my frustration about some situation.  I've tried to train myself to stop, and ask "am I part of the solution or part of the problem?"

It's not a good feeling to realize you're part of the problem.  Don't beat yourself up.  Just stop!

Are YOU part of the solution or part of the problem?

All I Want for Chrismas is My Friendship Back

Dear Santa Clause,

I write you this year with a short Christmas list.  In fact it only has one item on it.  I want to re-kindle a lost friendship.

Back in the eighties, when I was in college, I met an incredible person.  She taught me about joy, optimism, and love of life.  She showed me the world was a lot bigger than what I was seeing through my tunnel vision.  We had the most wonderful of conversations.

Unfortunately, in the course of all that, I fell in love with her.  That messed everything up.  Through the tangle of emotions and circumstance, we parted.  Over the years, I have summoned her memory as inspiration countless times.  I hold her in the highest esteem. 

Earlier this year, I reached out to her through social media and tried to reconnect.  I am secure in my marriage and only wish to have a friendship that will enrich both our lives.  Unfortunately, I was dumb in my approach.  I sent her a Facebook message.  In it, I wrote she could get back to me if she wanted to, but I would leave her alone and not badger if there was no response.  Of course, I have no idea if she even saw the message...

Santa, if your magic powers really exist, let Michelle see this post.  Help her understand my best of intentions and have her reach out to me.

Yours,

Dan

Merry Christmas to All!

Diversity T-Shirt Day ???

So, today is 'Diversity T-shirt Day' at work.  Notice went out for the following:

Wear a T-shirt that displays what is important in your life whether it be a hobby, an affiliation, a belief, a way of life, etc.
Remember, "Diversity is...You" so everyone has something to contribute!

As I walked the halls this morning, I saw two people wearing Washington Redskin t-shirts.  This says something, though I'm not quite sure what...